So, two surgeries’ down - phew! You know what I suddenly remembered that I forgot to tell you? I have mentioned many visitors and people whose presence meant the world to me, but I forgot to talk about "Suzie Q". Suzie Q, was the little doll given to me by my Aunt Sarah and Uncle Joe. Starting with the day they gave that to me and Uncle Joe named her and put her on my pillow, she was with me the whole time. Right on my pillow and.....Dr. Hardy let her come with me for my second surgery. She came right into the operating room and she was still with me right after. She stayed on my pillow until the day I was discharged. I would turn my head (as best as I could) and talk to her or just look at her. She was my friend. I know I sound a little "loony" but my point is, how funny that we become attached to "things". I was sort of displaced from life as I once knew it, and suddenly my best friend was this little inanimate object. Strange. I think that is why every Christmas, I literally have to take a moment with her. Besides Eddie, Suzie Q helped me get through many a yucky moment herself. Me and Suzie Q. One day, Charlie took her from me and I was so upset. He wouldn’t give her back and I started to cry. He must have thought I was crazy, because as soon as he realized that I really was upset, he gave her back and apologized. After that, he would have killed someone with his bare hands if anyone touched my Suzie Q. He was very protective of me. He was holding out for that kiss. Poor kid, all he wanted was a kiss!! Ha! Ha!
One sunny morning about a week after the second surgery, I was told that I was going to be helped out of bed. How exciting. They were making a big deal about it; like I was a baby and I couldn't understand what all the hoopla was about. I figured I would just walk. Well, I was wrong. Again. I recall that my mother was there and a nervous wreck and there were two nurses and a male orderly. So, as typical, they had me sit at the edge of the bed first. Then stand and all of a sudden, I became light-headed and had to sit again. I had been laying down now for almost a month. A month that consisted of two major, major spine surgeries, two spinal fusions and a severe allergic reaction and eating real food for probably only half that time. Hmmm.....maybe they did know what they were talking about? Maybe I was weak. It was decided that we would try to get up again in the afternoon. Sure enough, with two new nurses, I was going to attempt again. Now, I have to check into this, because suddenly I am thinking that my cousin Joey was there. Maybe I'm crazy, but he keeps popping into my head as I am typing this as if he were there? I just don't know for sure. Anyway, this time I was able to stand up without dizziness but they still wouldn't let me walk. We just got up and down from the bed several times and was told tomorrow would be the day. They took it very slow. So next morning, SUCCESS! I was a little dizzy upon standing, but it subsided and I was able to take several steps, but I was very weak and it was as if my legs didn't work like they used to? So as I was put back in the bed, the nurse explained that it was like learning to walk all over again. Due to the fact that I had been laid up for so long, my muscles had atrophied a little bit and I was very weak, so between my legs not being able to move well and the weakness, my brain didn't quite know what to do, but that with a little more practice, I'd be as good as new. Sure enough, it took a couple of more days to get my footing but I was discouraged because as I felt stronger, they still made me only get up on their schedule and with help.
Regardless, I was so tired of lying around in bed. It was all moving too slow. So I concocted a plan. Late at night, when the curtain was drawn between me and my roommate and the door was closed (yes, they actually closed the doors back then) I would stand up in bed!!! Yep, I would get myself up and stand in the bed. I think it felt like a little bit of control or some desperately needed freedom? Now why the heck I thought that was a smart move, I have no idea. All I knew was that I couldn't put the side down on the bed and attempt to get out of bed on my own without making noise, so I figured I would just stand in bed. I never got caught, but I sure paid for it.
A few days later, after going for some x-rays, I was told that one of my rods had moved!! Oops. I remember Dr. Hardy and my mother talking about possibly putting me back in the OR and straightening it out. I did not want that and I stayed silent. Then Dr. Hardy finally asked, "Valerie, you haven't gotten out of bed anytime you weren't supposed to or anything, have you?" Um, um,um,um.....God, what do I say, um,...um,...um,...? I replied, "Nooooo"!!!!!!!!!!! All I knew was that my mother would kill me if she knew I had stood on the bed!!
The next day, Dr. Hardy came back before my mother arrived for the day. He came beside the bed, held my hand, looked at me and said, "Sweetie, I know you are bored, I know you want to get out of here......but please don't do anything that will chance you not being able to leave on time or messing up my good work, ok? Your back is perfect and doing really well, just do what the nurse's say" and he simply walked out. He never insisted on an answer, he never accused me, he was not angry or mean, and he just said what he had to say, smiled and walked away. I never stood on the bed again. Not so much because I was afraid of hurting myself but because I didn't want to disappoint him. He was like a father figure to me and I didn't want to let him down. I never, ever owned up to it, but then again, I didn't have to. I really don't think he ever did say anything to my mother. He handled it. He was the very first person in my life that I recognized what it meant to respect someone. I respected Dr. Hardy.
No comments:
Post a Comment