The summer that Ben turned one, it was 1992. My friend Robin had called and asked if I wanted to meet her at her mother's pool for the afternoon. I said "Sure". I took a couple of trips down to the car, with Erica playing in the Playroom and Ben in his playpen. At last, it was time to grab the baby and Erica, but I decided to just grab my pocketbook and diaper bag and bring it down to the car first. I went down the first step and BOOM!!! My sandal slipped underneath me and I fell as if it were in slow motion. It was as if someone had a cord that kept me completely in sitting up position and my tailbone hit 9X and I stopped at the bottom with both my feet wedges up against the cement wall. I experienced the strangest sensation - I had a sharp pain that went up my spine and my legs felt like they were very heavy and then, NO FEELING whatsoever. As I tried to get up, I couldn't move and suddenly both of my legs felt like pins and needles. Erica, who had just turned 5, ran to one of our neighbors and she came running to help me. By the time she was here, I had regained my composure and she managed to help me up. The feeling was back in my legs, but I was scared. At the ER, they took x-rays and told me that I had severely fractured my tailbone and there is absolutely nothing you can do for it. It just takes time to heal.
A couple of days later, I called Dr. Hardy's office and got an appointment for about a month later. We went and I took my x-rays with me. He was aghast and said it was a significant break and it was barely just showing signs of healing, but he said in time it would be alright. He did comment that it would probably ache from time to time - and he was right. It was at this appointment that Bob asked Dr. Hardy if I was going to okay as time went on and as I aged that Dr. Hardy yelled at him saying, "Look at her!! Look at these x-rays?!? Does she look like she is going to be okay?? Of course, she is not going to be okay!” I was stunned! What did he mean? I thought I had been cured? I thought it was all behind me? What was he talking about?? Sadly, I never asked. I never pushed. I just looked at him. The appointment was now over and we left. I KNOW now that he knew exactly why I wasn't going to be okay and I am now so disillusioned with the man that I had looked up to, the man whom I had previously respected so much. I left that office trying to forget what he said, but deep down, I knew that what he said had a meaning beyond what I could understand at the time. Guess what I did? Yep - I fell asleep on the car ride home from Hartford. Fast asleep................
Several years later, I kept experiencing this pain in my groin when I would stand too long, but then it would go away.
I also started realizing that I couldn't turn my neck as far as I always had been able or that it would feel "stiff" if I kept it turned.
Suddenly, my arms were falling asleep at night too. And why did my groin hurt so much when I walked alot?
My shoulder blades were hurting too. It was as if I had pulled a muscle around and underneath them.
Strange little indications that something wasn't right. But I ignored all of these signs. Until one day, I thought, "Well, I probably should just go back to Dr. Hardy, it's been a few years". So I called. I was stunned and scared when I heard the receptionist say, "Dr. Hardy retired last year. Would you like to see one of his associates?". One of his associates?? Was she crazy? He retired and didn't tell me?? The nerve of him! Now what was I supposed to do?? I chose to do nothing. I chose to ignore it all.
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